None, as of yet
by Sojisa
Summary: Following the aftermath of the third book, Sirius goes to Remus's to recuperate and recover his memories. Some very important ones have been forgotten, including the ones of their relationship. (Eventual slash aka yaoi. Better summary later.)
1. Chapter One

**No title yet**  
  
Chapter One  
It was an odd thing riding on a hippogriff; Sirius began to realize. But not so strange that he couldn't begin to think over recent events. Anger was first- anger at Peter... Wormtail, that filthy little traitor... But he had mused upon that countless times in Azkaban.  
  
So instead Sirius thought of Harry, his godson- practically his son now- and being so close... so close to living with him and being proven innocent. But that couldn't overcome the ecstatic state he went into as he remembered Remus. Remus... Moony... knew the truth. He finally knew that Sirius hadn't betrayed him, Lily, and James. It was a thought that had very much haunted his dreams and waking moments for the past twelve years. Remus had accepted him again. That predominant thought was only interrupted when the hippogriff- Buckbeak, was it? -poked irritably at Sirius's hand.  
  
'Where are we going?' It seemed to be asking. For a beast without speech, it was quite intelligent the ex-convict thought.  
  
Where was he going? He thought. Now that he was, in reality, free of that damned prison, he really didn't know where to head next. He hadn't planned this far ahead when he broke out. _Hell_, the Animagus thought, _I was hardly all together when I conceived my escape._  
  
His first idea for a refuge was Lupin. After all, he knew the truth and Sirius would be safe with him. But he had no clue of where he was. Well... he knew that currently he was in the Forbidden Forest prowling about, but not where his real home was.  
  
Remus was undoubtedly going to resign the next day- he still knew how the werewolf's mind worked after all this time. He knew that since he'd neglected to take the Wolfsbane Potion he was in danger of hurting someone that night.  
  
This night? Yes, it really was still the same day. So much had happened that it didn't feel as it if it was. Sirius mentally sighed. So at the moment Remus's was out of the question.  
  
Sirius was about the think of another possibility when Buckbeak prodded him again. He still hadn't answered the beast's inquiry.  
  
"Just hang on- for now keep going south," he said his voice still croaky with disuse.  
  
The one thing he knew he had to do was get away from Hogwarts. He didn't want Harry or anyone else in danger if he was too close-by. France could work, but he vaguely remembered there was another school in that country. Well, as long as he stayed far enough away from it he should be all right. But he still wanted desperately to contact both Remus and Harry before he got too much further. Glancing down haphazardly, he spotted a small village. He hadn't thought those kind of small places existed anymore. Reining Buckbeak down to a wooded area, he tethered the hippogriff tightly to a tree.  
  
"Now. I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?" said Sirius slowly, trying to get the hippogriff to understand.  
  
It pawed the ground absentmindedly, and Sirius took that as an okay.  
A large black dog bounded towards the nearest hut. Summoning as much charm he could, Padfoot pawed and whined at a backdoor. It was dark, so he tried to make sure the whine sounded as gentle as possible, so as not to scare the inhabitants and not answer his pleas.  
  
Yet as luck would have it the hinges of the door creaked and an older woman, who looked strangely familiar, peered blearily outside.  
  
"Yes? Is anyone there?"  
  
Padfoot emitted a kind yip and the woman looked down.  
  
"Oh! Why hello there! You're pretty friendly for a stray," she said going to her knees. "Come on in. My husband's not home now, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you stayed the night until you find your home again." The woman had now suddenly assumed he was not a stray, but a lost dog. Of course, he didn't mind; it just made this a whole lot easier. "Follow me," the woman added and Sirius trotted in.  
After being fed and watered, the woman, still nameless, settled back to sleep. Although extremely tired, he stayed up until he was sure she was sound asleep. He padded softly into the main room and transformed back to human. Rummaging through the desk he had found, he extracted a quill, ink, and parchment. Sirius dipped the quill and wrote to Remus, asking to stay with him until he had at least some semblance of a plan for his future as a man on the run.  
  
The letter wasn't too revealing in case it was intercepted; and he had signed it as Padfoot to protect himself.  
  
He sealed the letter and returned the supplies to their proper places before transforming once again. Retreating out of the house, he ran back to Buckbeak.  
  
The hippogriff had fallen asleep, curled on the ground not unlike a dog; Padfoot nudged the beast until it woke up.  
  
Stroking its feathers, now human, he whispered. "All right. I told you I'd come back. I'm sorry to have woken you, but otherwise you'd think I'd broken my promise. Now- let's sleep." Buckbeak blearily gave his assent and they both promptly fell asleep.  
The next morning Sirius set off back to the hut of the woman, whose identity he still could not remember, to attempt to send his letter. Pawing and whining as he had the night before, she appeared again.  
  
"Oh! I thought you'd run away!" she exclaimed. "I couldn't find you when I awoke! But-what's that in your mouth?" She removed Sirius's letter from his jaws and flipped it around.  
  
"A letter? Why do you have a letter to-" she looked at the front, "-Remus Lupin?" She began to unseal it when Sirius gave a low warning growl.  
  
"You don't want this opened, do you? Well, how about sending it? Would you be happy if I did that?"  
  
Padfoot gave an enthused bark and circled around. Things were really going his way. Had people always been this friendly?  
A tired Remus J. Lupin awoke. His head pounded. He couldn't remember what had just happened. Why was he in the Forbidden Forest? And at dawn? Then everything came rushing back.  
  
Sirius was innocent- Peter had betrayed them- Harry knew the truth- Wormtail had escaped- he had transformed- and Sirius was... what was Sirius? Dead? Soul-less? Lupin tried to suppress a shudder and failed. No...no... Dumbledore... if Dumbledore got wind of this story, he would've prevented that. But, how could that have happened? He was too exhausted to think of the possibilities.  
  
Wearily he stood, again grateful that when he transformed his clothes weren't ruined. Glancing up he saw that it wasn't quite dawn; there was just enough light that the full moon's glare no longer penetrated the Earth.  
  
He began to walk toward the school and then remembered the dementors. Lupin was about to sprint to the entrance- hoping he had the energy- when he stopped and saw Hagrid's game-keeping hut off to the side. Abruptly, he dashed for it instead.  
  
Knocking lightly, Hagrid answered promptly, finding that the half-giant was already quite conscious.  
  
"Eh... who's knockin' so early... Lupin?" he queried.  
  
"Hagrid, could you please... escort me to the Headmaster? I... don't think I'm up to it, considering the circumstances," said Lupin, swaying on his feet.  
  
"Wha?" Hagrid looked around and then noticed the quickly fading moon, "Ohhh... but... Professor Lupin, why are you...?"  
  
"Please Hagrid. I'm too tired... just bring me to Dumbledore quickly."  
  
"Ah'right. Err..." the giant trailed off as something else occurred to him, "You didn' happen to eat anythin' las' night? Like a hippogriff?" he asked.  
  
"No- no- I didn't eat anything... please... the Headmaster," he pleaded once more.  
  
"Righ' righ'. I jus' hope you tell me wha' this is all about soon," replied Hagrid as he latched his door and came outside.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Hagrid had little time to react as Lupin fell to the ground before him.  
  
"Blimey mate. Yeh've really got to tell me now."  
When Remus awoke again, it was to the sparkling face of the Headmaster in his office.  
  
"Mmm... Dumbledore?" he mumbled first, then bolt upright like a child reacting from a nightmare. "Where's Sirius? Did... did you-"  
  
"Please do calm down, Remus. I was informed of Sirius Black's innocence last night," he answered, looking a bit amused at the first words from his mouth.  
  
"Is he all right? He wasn't sent back to Azkaban was he?" he asked hysterically. He knew his friend wasn't guilty! He couldn't bear it if he was imprisoned again!  
  
"No, Sirius is quite safe. He escaped with Mr. Potter and Miss Granger's help."  
  
"Thank god..." he breathed. Then, everything else hit him. "Headmaster? I'd like to resign. I- I was unable to-"  
  
Dumbledore interrupted softly, "I understand Remus."  
  
Lupin looked up into his eyes, twinkling with intelligence. He couldn't take it any longer. "Headmaster- I also would like you to know that... that I led Sirius, James, and Peter," he spat the last name, "to illegally become Animagi in our fifth year... I just thought you should know-finally." He looked away feeling much like he was fifteen years old once more and being punished for wrongdoings.  
  
"Yes. Sirius informed me of that as well last night. Now if you're feeling well...?" Remus nodded, still avoiding the wizard's gaze. "Well as much as I'd love to stay and chat I must attend to other matters. If you'll excuse me. I trust you will able to gather your things without assistance?"  
  
Lupin could only nod again. This was just too much generosity.  
  
"I'll keep in touch." And Dumbledore swept away from the office.  
  
Lupin took his time getting to his feet, numbed by the last hour's experiences. When he exited, he subconsciously took a path he knew would find little activity, recalling it from the Marauder's Map lying in his office.  
  
As soon as he reached his room however, he saw a minute owl scratching impatiently at the window. Releasing the latch, it hooted in thanks and dove gracefully around the room waiting for Remus to read and write a reply to the letter.  
  
Curious as to whom he'd be getting a letter from, he broke the unfamiliar seal and froze when the letter lay open.  
  
Sirius. His handwriting was unmistakable.  
  
Hands shaking slightly, he smoothed out the parchment and read. A plea for help- Sirius wanted to stay with him until he recuperated. Lupin reread it over before it sunk it and then collapsed into his chair.  
  
"Oh Padfoot..." he cried softly.  
Well- how was it? I think I did pretty damn good for my first time writing a HP fic. Of course, it did help that I've been reading quite a few Sirius/Remus fics lately... especially Ambiguity (which I recommend!!). But seriously, please review!! Reviews are so nice. ^.^ 


	2. Chapter Two

**No title yet**  
  
Chapter Two  
Sirius didn't need to wait long with the woman in the hut for Remus's reply. It came later that night, and she untied it from the owl.  
  
"You want this right? That Lupin-fellow replied, didn't he?" she asked him quietly.  
  
Sirius barked in excitement, wagging his tail furiously. _Remus-_, he thought hungrily, and he gave another anxious yap.  
  
"Here. I suppose you can't stay any longer, can you? I was beginning to enjoy your company. Maybe you could visit?" she added hopefully.  
  
He licked her hand and she smiled.  
  
"Good. My name is Andromeda, don't forget," she waved as Padfoot trotted away letter in jaw, and in shock that he'd encountered his cousin and he hadn't remembered her.  
  
"Goodbye..."  
_Padfoot-  
  
I'm so glad you're alive and well. I was afraid- well, afraid that quite a few things happened actually, but most of all afraid that you were unable to get somewhere safe. But I'm very happy things are somewhat sorted out.  
As to you staying with me, I'll have quite enough free time to help you recuperate. I've resigned my post as Defense Against the Dark Arts, and it's the summer- meaning little hope for someone like me to get work. I'm glad you didn't just head off to where you remembered my last home was... you wouldn't find me there. I'm in a town some miles off from Bristol. I'm certain I'll be there to welcome you-_  
  
Here Sirius grinned. Remus's place was much closer to he than Hogwarts. Buckbeak and him had traveled quite further than Sirius expected. Remus's home was about an hour, at most, on Buckbeak, while Hogwarts was twice that.  
  
The rest of the letter gave his address, and finished afterward. Folding the letter and shoving it into his robes (he had had to be human to open and read the letter properly), he slid neatly onto Buckbeak.  
  
"We're off again, my friend. To Remus's!" he said with more enthusiasm than he'd thought he had.  
  
Sirius grinned again. Things were going to be a _lot_ better when he was with Remus again.  
As Sirius had thought, it took less than an hour to arrive at Lupin's residence. Getting into his home was a bit tricky, as it was in a somewhat larger town and there were few places to hide and transform. But he was able to accomplish the feat nonetheless, even without his wand.  
  
He couldn't remember what had happened to it. Was it confiscated? Destroyed? He shook his head, his still stringy hair swishing with the movement. It was still too early to recall little memories such as that. But the sooner he started recuperating with Remus, the quicker (he was hoping) more of his memories would return.  
  
Stepping around the house carefully Sirius searched again for quill, ink, and parchment- or at least something to write on and something to write with. He didn't want, for some reason or another, to prowl and search through Remus's things as he had Andromeda's. So he finally settled on some extra bit of _The Daily Prophet_ and a pen lying nearby.  
  
Flipping through to get a clear spot to write on, he found a page-length ad with enough blank space to write on.  
  
He wrote hurriedly, a quick note to the werewolf, telling him he would be sleeping on the couch in the living room and that he should wake him when he arrived home. He also made a little note that there was a hippogriff sleeping, as he soon would be, in his bathroom.  
  
Sirius finished the note and placed it conspicuously near the front door. Meaning hanging on a string from the ceiling. Moony would enjoy that, he thought, feeling it reminiscent of their schoolboy days.  
  
Thinking over and hoping he'd thought of everything, Sirius snatched a few blankets. They were a bit dusty since Remus had not been in his house for at least 9 months, but they'd settle.  
  
Covering himself up, he felt his head hit the pillow and he was out.  
It would be a good idea to tidy things up a bit before Sirius came Lupin thought as he unlocked his door with his wand, disarming the few other spells that kept the door locked.  
  
When he stepped in, his face met with an old newspaper. As he shoved it out of his face, he noticed that some familiar writing was on it.  
  
He read it through quickly and smiled. Walking straight to the couch, he saw the bulge of blankets that was Sirius.  
  
Remus's smile got even wider as he stripped off the blankets. After all, he had said to wake him up. He wasn't going to deny it to him!  
  
When the blankets and dust had settled to the floor, the ex-convict did nothing but curl up on the couch instinctively.  
  
"Mhmm... Don't do that" he mumbled still asleep and in a dream.  
  
"Oh Padfoot," Lupin said in a singsong voice. "Wake u-p." He started shaking Sirius's shoulders, and he awoke at once.  
  
"N-no! I-Remus?" Sirius had been waving his hands to ward off the dream attacker and froze them. He tilted his head upward and saw the madly grinning man above him. "You're home?"  
  
"Of course I am. But before we do anything, I'd think it best if you told me why there's a hippogriff in my bathroom."  
  
Sirius blinked once; then his face broke into a smile and- as it had before- seemed to take years off him.  
  
"That's Buckbeak. He helped me escape... but... I'd have thought you knew what happened after..." he trailed off, not wanting to think much of what happened the previous night.  
  
"Not all the details, just the main gist of it." Remus brushed himself off from the dust that had settled on him. "But, you realize you still look too much like the 'wanted man' you supposedly are. I'll let you sleep some more and when you wake again we'll talk and eat. All right?"  
  
"That would be wonderful. Just hand me back those blankets and I'll get right to it," jested Sirius. Being around Remus was making him happier and more humorous than he was thinking possible.  
  
"I'll see you soon," Lupin remarked as his old friend settled in the sofa once more.  
  
"Mmm hmm..." he mumbled assent, falling away again.  
Remus soon found there was little food to be had in his house and decided a trip to the grocer was in store. He knew that Sirius would be asleep for a long time, maybe not waking until the next day.  
  
He started on the familiar path into the small town and Lupin felt a sudden shiver crawl between his shoulder blades. Bristling like he would've in wolf form, he shook the feeling away. However, a niggling emotion stayed as he continued, and it wouldn't take long for him to realize what it was from.  
  
The road was more hushed than it usually was as he entered town he noted absentmindedly, but brushed the thought aside.  
  
A little bell jingled announcing his entrance into the grocery. He paced around, when he noticed the silence even more apparent here. Slowly raising his eyes, he tried to catch another person's eyes. When he did, he regretted it.  
  
Fear. Danger. Fright. Disgust. His heart sank; he had forgotten... Snape had made it quite public at Hogwarts that he was a werewolf. He hadn't thought of the effects that would take in his own town. Now he wished he had.  
  
Continuing in silence, he gathered the things Sirius and him would need, all the while rethinking his plans of the future. Not that there was much of one because of his curse. He sighed as he approached the counter and the young cashier girl flinched.  
  
"Uh... are you ready s-sir?" she asked, failing to cover up her terror. Remus's heart sank hearing her speak.  
  
"Yes... that's all for today."  
  
"Good! Stay away from us, monster!" a young voice came from somewhere. Lupin barely had the heart to search for the voice, which ended up being a little boy barely five years old.  
  
"Hush!! Don't bring attention to yourself like that... although, I do have to agree with him, you know," the mother of child said, bringing her arm protectively around the boy.  
  
Remus still said nothing as his items were rung in and he passed money over to the cashier.  
  
"Nothing to say for yourself, eh?" another voice, this one elderly, brought up.  
  
He walked with his bags toward the door, but the old man blocked his way.  
  
"Please... I need to get back home," Lupin said wearily.  
  
"And then what? Kill off some innocents afterward? Your kind killed my wife!" The last remark rang through the building. _'Your kind... kill...'_  
  
"Ple-" Lupin was interrupted as the man, harder than he'd imagined he could, shoved him backwards with a fist into the gut. The old man spat at his feet.  
  
"You deserved that." And he strode off.  
  
The bags had scattered, with items falling- some still rolling away- over the floor. Remus merely gathered them back up listlessly, with his eyes cloudy and unseeing.  
Poor Remus... please review! 


	3. Chapter Three

**No title yet**  
  
Chapter Three  
Sirius awoke with a start later the next day from a nightmare of Azkaban. He quivered and shook the blanket off to get Lupin.  
  
When he did, and it amazed him how much better he was feeling despite the dream, a memory from their years at Hogwarts sparked in his brain. Grinning wildly, he encroached into Remus's space stealthily before grabbing him from around the neck.  
  
"Miss me Moony?" he said with his chin in the man's graying hair.  
  
"More than you'd believe..." The tone of his voice made Sirius sober, and he slipped his arms away to sit beside him.  
  
"What's wrong?" he inquired, hands on his knees.  
  
He sighed and answered back a bit sharply; "I just forgot how discrimination feels, that's all."  
  
Sirius narrowed his eyes at that. "What happened while I was sleeping?"  
  
"Nothing. Nothing. Like I said, I just forgot for a bit about my little gift." He laughed in spite of himself, calling it a 'gift'.  
  
"You know that I don't give a damn about what you a-"  
  
"I know. That's why I'd rather you forget about it, okay?" Remus stared stonily into the other man's eyes. Sirius sighed and looked away.  
  
"Fine."  
  
A little chill of silence crept between them as Remus began breakfast for them both. It wasn't until they began to eat that Sirius broke it, remembering another important person in his life.  
  
"Harry."  
  
"What?" the werewolf asked baffled.  
  
"Harry. I should write to him. He needs to know that I'm somewhere safe. I owe that to him, at least."  
  
"All right. I'll get the things you need. Be right back."  
  
As Remus exited the kitchen, Sirius let his brain wander. He wanted so badly to remember. His time in Azkaban had obviously taken a toll on him, one of those things being his memories. He recalled next to nothing of what had happened before he was imprisoned; only the fact those things had existed.  
  
Remus returned quickly, and Sirius wasn't able to linger any longer on his feelings. It was Harry he should be thinking of for the next few moments.  
  
As he finished the letter, Remus brought up lightly, "So... are you all right?"  
  
The Azkaban escapee was a bit startled by the question. "Yes... I'm much better than yesterday. There are some things that won't go away for a while, but... a good rest helped a lot."  
  
Remus smiled. "I'm glad. Because I was thinking, and... you can't stay with me forever. It would be bad for both of us."  
  
"I know." Sirius had had similar thoughts but had not voiced them. He hadn't wanted to. He didn't want to leave. Not yet; not so soon after being reunited with someone from his past. "Not yet."  
  
"No. Not right away, but..." Remus trailed off, leaving the rest unspoken. _"but eventually."_  
  
"I'd like to recover my memories first."  
  
"Memories? You mean that you can't remember things?" Remus replied, startled.  
  
"Yeah, I can't... I know vague things up to when I was arrested, but nothing detailed. Although it's helping, being here with you." Sirius smiled lightly. Remus returned it.  
  
"I'm glad. So... you don't remember anything of-"  
  
"No. Nothing. But I'm hoping those are the first to return."  
  
"I do too," Remus whispered.  
Within a few days, the two men had gathered all of Remus's belongings together. Remus had decided it was time for him to move again. It had become a routine thing for Remus; he always had to leave once the town had found out what he was. He never tried to become too attached to any certain town or home. It was harder than he thought, and it got harder every time.  
  
Sirius would be living with Remus for at least a short while, but like they had discussed he would have to leave on his own eventually to protect the both of them.  
  
Sirius heaved another box onto the still-dusty couch, making him sneeze.  
  
"So... this is really all of it? It's less than I thought," Sirius asked Remus, as the man in question finished taping another box.  
  
"Yeah. I told you- I don't have time to get too attached anywhere so I don't have many personal things."  
  
"Like this?" Sirius tauntingly held up a picture that had fallen out of an album.  
  
"Okay... so some things are nice to keep a hold of..." Remus smiled faintly as he took the picture. It was of the two of them sleeping. Sirius was sprawled all over the bed, and Remus was being held possessively with one arm. James had blackmailed them with that picture in their Marauder Days. How he had gotten the picture, neither of them ever found out. Remus and Sirius had finally gotten the picture away from James after a little blackmailing of their own. Namely, telling Lily about his attraction to her. Of course, things had all worked out in the end anyway.  
  
But… Sirius didn't remember any of it? Not even this instance? Nothing of _anything_?  
  
"Sirius... are you sure you don't remember anything of us? Absolutely nothing?"  
  
The convict looked crestfallen. "No... I... wish I did, believe me."  
  
"What if..." Remus looked away, but Sirius had been able to tell what he had been about to ask. He leaned closer, and brushed his lips against Remus's before deepening it.  
  
Nothing. No sparks of memory; no sudden recollections.  
  
"Nothing," he murmured.  
  
Remus's eyes saddened.  
  
"I still can't remember. Why can't I remember, Moony?" Sirius collapsed to the ground and leaned against Remus's legs. "Why?"  
  
Remus reached down to grasp Sirius's chin. "You will. I know they'll come back. They're too important for you to forget." He got down on the ground and grasped the other man around the waist. "Much too important." Remus rubbed his back sensually with his fingertips, sending shivers up Sirius's spine. "And we can always make new ones if we have to," he whispered into his ear.  
  
"Of course..." the Animagus replied, playing with the collar of the werewolf's shirt. Slipping his hands in under Remus's loose shirt, he slid his palms up and down the man's chest. He leaned forward and laid his head on Remus's shoulder. He closed his eyes. "But not now. I'm too tired. And-"  
  
Remus suddenly tightened the embrace- squeezing him firmly, almost painfully- while he nuzzled the back of his neck.  
  
"All right. Just don't take too long. I don't know how much longer I can wait."  
Remus and Sirius began a search the next few days for available apartments or small flats for Remus's next new place. Searching through newspapers, a wild thought went through both of their minds. _Living together._ But it was impossible, like they had already established it to be. Sirius was a criminal on the run. He'd endanger both of them, Sirius wouldn't do that to Remus, and Remus wouldn't be that needy. So neither had said a word about it.  
  
"What about this one? It's in Muggle London. Have you tried that yet? Living amongst Muggles?" Sirius suggested.  
  
"I've thought about it. But it's so dangerous… and how do I explain the monthly absences if I decide to get a job?"  
  
"You could always make up something. A disease or something. You know… it's a lot like PMS for men," Sirius mused before Remus smacked him.  
  
"And what is that supposed to mean?!" he retorted indignantly.  
  
"That's exactly what I mean! You get all bitchy and whiny around the full moon!" Sirius teased.  
  
"I do not!"  
  
"Plus, you get a lot hornier too."  
  
"I… what?!" Remus blinked. "How do you know that? I thought you forgot everything!"  
  
"Eh… I remember THAT much, and I am starting to recall some things. Especially full moons. Damn, you were so weird around that time! And you'd never remember afterward! You wouldn't believe some of the things that happened…" Sirius trailed off, leaving the rest to the imagination.  
  
Remus reddened. "You've never told me that before."  
  
"Why did I have to? I thought you'd assume that Padfoot and Moony weren't always innocent."  
  
"Bloody Hell Sirius!!"  
  
He just chuckled as he flipped the page.  
*smiles* Fluff is always nice. I hope everyone liked that little reprieve from Remus's unfair treating. *frowns* It was a bit shorter than I'd wanted, but I'll try to make future chapters longer. Keyword, TRY. ^^;;; I'd also appreciate if anyone could help me with the title... anything I could try, seriously. I'm horrible at summaries (which includes titles).  
  
Ah well, 'till next time. Jaa. 


End file.
